the nothingness inside my heart begs for someone to find me. something dark and shadowless, full of pain and regret, it hurts, it hurts now most of all, i know one day they will see the true me, and see all the walls i have been building, when really never knowing it was extreme the opposite way. Everything multiplied to infinity, i have molded the most unique mask to protect them, and they’ll never see my true face. i pushed them all away to help, and to protect my most loved, loved ones, and their hate shows me a job well done. I miss them everyday, but they are safe now.

You cant give me respect because i dont deserve it. I’ve dont nothing with my life that seems to impress you and it makes my life empty. My entire life living for some one who doesnt care about you will do that i suppose. Its easy to hate me because im not human, its easy to hurt me because i cant feel. If being your punching bag is the only want to be with you then so be it. However i wont last forever, eventually my lace will rot and my leather will dry, i guess you just needed to find a new punching bag. A new me.

Too much hurt, my mind cant process it all, so i let my body take control which enables me to feel. I turn off my mind but my body wont let me forget you, So much unwritten in the book that was meant for us, i can only close my eyes and try to breathe as the fear of the coming pain surrounds me, like you knocking on my front door, i know whats out there, but i cant help but to open the door and let you in. Its my fault for letting you hurt me so, i can only blame myself so i punish myself.